


I Can Still Feel The Love

by Cudders



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Short Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-13 02:12:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15353952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cudders/pseuds/Cudders
Summary: Hating Christen Press isn’t easy for Tobin.





	1. Sometimes I Wonder My Purpose...

Anger.

For Tobin, it was the easiest emotion to tap into. She had spent most of her life angry about something or someone. Most of the time it was little things, like that one annoying girl on Instagram who feels the need to post a gazillion pictures of her trip to Europe. We get it. You have money. But nothing made Tobin more angry than entitlement. She came from a low-income family and had lived in Southern California for most of her life. No, not the glamourous sunny beaches and big mansions you’re thinking of. Tobin lived in a city farther inland, riddled with crime, drugs, and homeless people. It was anything but glamorous. As bad as it sounds, there was so much about her God awful city that she loved. The friends and memories she made there were like no other. Thinking back on it all made her want to cry.

Tobin knew that after high school she would have to face one her biggest fears, change. Unlike most people, she enjoyed falling into a daily routine. She didn’t like it when people rocked the boat. So when she had to leave her family to go live in a one bedroom apartment for her first year of college, it was almost too much for her. She had worked during high school and saved damn near every penny she earned from those jobs just so she could lessen the blow of college finances. Her first week in her own apartment was fun. Living with siblings can be hell and she dreamt of the time when she could leave them behind. Tobin called home everyday and every time her mom would say the same thing.

“Honey, nothing has changed over here! Focus on yourself and stop worrying so much about us!” After that first week had passed, Tobin began to lose her mind. She needed something to do. She had heard about this website called Twitch, where you can make money off of streaming your video game gameplay. She thought about it for a few days before investing in a gaming microphone and creating her Twitch account. Tobin never considered herself to be a legend at video games. It was more of a hobby for her, and at first, that’s what it was.

“ToBinAWin,” Tobin said out loud to herself, deciding on her Twitch username. “Perfect.”

She would get a few people to watch her streams, and every now and then, someone would donate a dollar. She’d exclusively play Fortnite and provide funny audio commentary to her streams. It stayed that way until Tobin entered her first e-tournament and won. Her subscribers, viewers, and donations just kept going up and up. The more subscribers she had, the harder and more rewarding e-tournaments she could enter. But throughout this whole time, she never revealed to her subscribers just who exactly she was. At first it was little, people here and there asking for her real name or for her Instagram.

“It’s a secret,” Tobin would joke. But after her popularity grew, everybody wanted to know who is ToBinAWin? The Twitch community was buzzing with a new found excitement it hadn’t seen in a while. To be completely honest, Tobin had no reason why she was hiding from the world. But something about living a double life breathed excitement into her. She had exactly six months to prepare for her next and biggest e-tournament so far. If she won this tournament, it would take her Twitch career to places she could only dream of.

A loud ringing jolts Tobin from her daydream. She picks up her cracked iPhone 6 and sees that her best friend, Allie, is calling.

“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?” Tobin answers.

“Use that cheesy ass greeting one more time and I’m gonna crack that iPhone 6 even more.” Allie says back.

Tobin laughs, “Well damn, who pissed in your Cheerios today? Anyways, what’s up?”

“Ok so hear me I out. I need you to come with me to-“ Allie begins.

“Ah, lemme stop you there. If you’re gonna ask me to go with you to that stupid photography club meeting then the answer is a hard no,” Tobin cuts her off.

“Toby please!” Allie pleads.

Tobin cringes, “God please don’t call me Toby. It makes me sound like a 12 year old boy.”

“Tobin please. This is just the first meeting! I just need you to come with me this one time. That’s all I’m asking. Please Tobin…” Allie says and Tobin can practically feel the puppy eyes over the phone.

“Fineeee, I’ll go. What time are you picking me up at?” Tobin asks.

“Well the meeting starts at around 8 and lasts about an hour... so I’ll be there around 7:30,” Allie says.

Tobin silently grimaces. She was totally planning on streaming some Fortnite gameplay at around 8 tonight. But she can’t tell Allie that. Allie has no knowledge of video games, Twitch, or Fortnite and that’s the way it’s gonna stay.

“Jeez Allie an hour long meeting? What’s there to talk about? It’s the very first meeting!” Tobin says trying to convince Allie to ditch the meeting.

“I don’t know! I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. Be ready by 7:30. Love you, bye!” Allie says and hangs up before Tobin can respond.

Tobin did feel bad keeping this huge secret from Allie. But at the end of the day, it wasn’t like she was selling drugs or beating up people. And knowing Allie’s big mouth, she figured it would be best to keep it to herself. Tobin still can’t understand how nobody has figured out it’s her yet. She puts her voice on every stream and her username literally says Tobin in it. Could she be more obvious?

She made sure to send out a notification to all her 350,000 subscribers that she would not be streaming tonight but to be on the lookout for one tomorrow. She gets the ‘I’m outside’ text from Allie shortly after and heads downstairs.

“So,” Tobin says as she gets in the passenger seat, “Photography huh?”

“I have something to tell you.” Allie says with a stoic expression.

Tobin cocks a brow, “Okay….what?”

“Christen Press is the current leader of the photography club.” Allie says looking towards Tobin for her reaction.

Christen.  
Press.

Tobin could not stand Christen Press. If there’s one thing Tobin hates, it’s entitlement, and Christen was the embodiment of that. With her Gucci sandals and Balenciaga shoes and Givenchy shirts. Christen was not only one of the smartest kids in the school but one of the best athletes as well. God, she was just so fucking perfect it made Tobin wanna puke.

“Allie please say sike before I crash this car,” Tobin says seriously.

Allie’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, “Listen there’s a reason why didn’t tell you this over the phone, you would’ve never come with me. It’s that weird obsession you have with her.”

“I’m not obsessed with her!” Tobin defended.

“Whatever you say man. There’s no backing out of this now. You’re stuck me and you’re going to photography meeting and you’re gonna like it!” Allie says with a chuckle at the end.

“I’m not obsessed with her…” Tobin grumbles to herself. They arrive on campus ten minutes after the meeting has started.

“Allie I can’t believe you! I told you stopping for iced coffee was a bad idea! Now we’re gonna cause a scene when we walk in late.” Tobin says while speed walking to the meeting room.

“First of all, don’t you ever disrespect iced coffee like that again. Second of all, you don’t care about this club or meeting so why should you care about being late?” Allie asks with a smirk.

Tobin narrows her eyes at Allie, “I don’t care about being late.”

“Good. Cause I don’t care either. Shall we?” Allie says before continuing to speed walk.

Tobin and Allie enter a small classroom with about 20 people in it sitting facing the front of the class. It’s dead silent except for the voice of the one and only, Christen Press. Allie whispers a quick “sorry” to Christen as her and Tobin make their way to the back of the class.

“So nice of you to join us!” Christen says in a fake enthusiastic voice and the class laughs.

“So NiCe oF yOU tO jOin uS!” Tobin mocks quietly to herself before Allie elbows her in the side.

“Where were we? Oh yeah. I wanted to talk to you all about-“ Christen began but Tobin stopped listening after that point. She was more focused on studying the way Christen carried herself. The way she walked, talked, and smiled as she was explaining a certain aspect of the photography club. God I hate her so much, Tobin thought to herself. Of course she was up there with a fat ass Gucci fanny pack strapped around her hips too. As if we all don’t already know how well off she is.

“I know you’re hating on her Tobin, stop it.” Allie whispers in Tobin’s direction.

“I’m not!” Tobin defends.

“She’s never gonna sleep with you Tobin, get over it.” Allie says without looking at Tobin.

“What are you talking about? I don’t even want to sleep with her. When did I say I wanted to sleep with her, I hate her!” Tobin harshly whispers back, beginning to become annoyed.

“Guys! What’s so important that you have to interrupt my meeting like this?” Christen yells from the front of the room. Tobin’s face grows hot with a simmering anger, at least that’s what she thinks it is. Luckily enough, Christen wasn’t looking for an actual answer and continued on with her meeting. She talked mainly about everything the students would need and what exactly they would be doing while in the club. Tobin would be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little interested.

Once the meeting was over, Tobin looked to dip outta there fast. But Allie had other ideas. She went around and introduced herself to other people in the club while Tobin just kinda awkwardly tagged along. Finally the duo made it up to the front where Christen is.

“Hi Allie! I haven’t seen you in a while!” Christen says while hugging her. Allie and Christen used to be teammates cause they both played soccer in high school. Tobin almost always had work after school, so sports and extracurricular activities was pretty close to impossible for her.

“And….Tobin.” Christen says offering a smile.

“Hi.” Tobin says with an awkward wave. You see, Christen knew that Tobin hated her. Although she never really understood why. Her and Tobin almost never interacted in high school, but when they did, Tobin was cold and distant. She was so mysterious to Christen, something about that excited Christen, it was like a new challenge for her.

Allie quickly breaks the stare down they both were having, “So Christen what are you doing tonight?” Tobin shoots Allie and incredulous look.

“Oh well I was just gonna pack up and then walk to my apartment not too far from here.” Christen says.

“You don’t have a car?” Tobin blurts out.

“Actually no I don’t,” Christen says. Tobin racks her brain for an answer as to why Christen, one of the richest girls she knows, doesn’t have a car.

“We’ll give you ride! You shouldn’t be walking home alone this late. Lots of weirdos around here.” Allie says while discreetly gesturing towards Tobin with her head.

Christen can immediately sense the hesitation in Tobin’s face, “Oh no it’s fine! Really... I like walking. It’s nice. It gives me time to think about my day.”

“No. It’s fine, you should get a ride with us. Allie is right.” Tobin says truthfully. She might hate her but she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her, especially when she can help.

“Alright. Thanks guys.” Christen goes to collect her things and Tobin unknowingly checks her down. Why does she have to be so pretty? Tobin thinks to herself.

“Your dick hard yet?” Allie jokes.

“Don’t be surprised when I sock you in the head Allie,” Tobin says back.

“Ready to go!” Christen pops back up, silencing their conversation. The ride to Christen’s apartment starts off quiet, too quiet for all of them.

“So….are you gonna join the club too Tobin?” Christen asked.

Tobin looked in the rear view mirror and saw Christen’s piercing eyes waiting for an answer. “Um, no. I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Well, you don’t have to participate in the club to be in it. Actually we really need people who are willing to be ‘props’ or models for photo shoots. Would you be willing to do that?” Christen asks.

“When you say ‘we’ who are you referring to?” Tobin asks back.

“Well for now, just Allie and I since you know us, but you could work with others if you wanted to.” Christen says with a hopeful look on her face.

“Umm….,” I don’t really know you Christen, Tobin thinks to herself. She looks over and sees the pleading look Allie is giving her.

“I mean...I guess?” Tobin says unsurely.

Allie grinned, “Yay!”

“So when do I start? I mean...like when do I have to be available for you guys to shoot?” Tobin asks keeping in mind her secret life as a streamer.

“Well it wouldn’t be too often. Maybe once a week or so. We’ll call you and let you know.” Christen says as Allie pulls up to her apartment.

The car pulls to a stop and Allie looks over at Tobin expectantly, “Well?”

“Well what?” Tobin asks feeling confused.

“Well are you gonna give her your number?” Allie asks obviously.

“Oh. Yeah sure, I guess.” Tobin says while reaching for Christen’s phone.

“Thanks for the ride guys! I’ll call you!” Christen says before gathering her things and exiting the car. Once she was a good distance away from the car, Allie bursted into a fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Tobin asks.

“Gosh, you guys are so cute!” Allie gushes.

Tobin groaned, “Allie please stop. You know how I feel about her.”

“Yeah. You think she’s incredibly hot.” Allie said while turning into Tobin’s apartment complex.

“Well you got me there. I never said she wasn’t.” Tobin said with a shrug.

“You can’t just brush this one off bum. I’m gonna ask you about her next time.” Allie says before pulling the car to stop.

“What else is there to know?” Tobin says.

“I don’t exactly know yet. But I know there’s something. You’ve never been good at hiding things from me,” Allie answers.

You wouldn’t know, Tobin thinks to herself while remembering her streaming account. “Maybe you’re right Allie, another time though please? I’m tired.”

“Ok. This isn’t over though!” Allie gets out before Tobin closes the car door.

“Oh Allie…” Tobin mumbles to herself. Don’t get her wrong, Tobin was lucky to have someone like Allie as a friend. Someone who cared about her and was always there if Tobin needed her. Though sometimes, Tobin wished Allie would just back off from her personal life a bit.

Tobin could hear the yelling coming from inside her apartment before she even had the chance to make it all the way up the stairs. Kelley...and probably Ashlyn too, Tobin thought to herself.

The first thing she hears when she walks into her apartment is Kelley yelling, “Come on, this dick ain’t gon’ suck itself son!”

“Kelley could you be any louder?” Tobin asks while joining her and Ash in the living room. She had met both Kelley and Ashlyn on her first day working at some arts and crafts store. It was perfect for Tobin because the place was almost always empty, meaning she could get paid to do nothing. Ashlyn, being the manager, hired Tobin the day after her job interview. Her first day on the job Kelley had walked around the store and taught her everything she needed to know. The three would hang out in the front for most of their shift but every now and then would go around and clean or stock shelves in the back. It was a nice job and Tobin considered herself very lucky to have found it.

Kelley takes off the gaming headset she’s wearing, “Huh? Oh. Sorry you had to hear that Tobin.”

“Hey Tobs!” Ashlyn yells from the opposite couch before focusing back on the game their playing.

“Umm...how’d you guys get in?” Tobin asks.

“Well remember that one time you gave us a spare key for emergencies? Well here we are,” Kelley answers.

“And you consider this-” Tobin says while pointing to the TV, “- an emergency?”

“If double XP in GTA 5 online races isn’t an emergency then I don’t know what is,” Kelley with a laugh.

“Also where did you go? I was fully expecting us to walk in on you with a girl...” Kelley says with a serious face before turning to Ashlyn and busting into a thunderous laugh.

“Sike!” Ashlyn yells out before continuing to laugh with Kelley.

“Ha ha, very funny. But if you must know, I went to a photography club meeting with Allie.” Tobin says as the other two calm down.

“Photography club? Since when have you been into fruity stuff like that?” Ashlyn asks.

“Did you guys even listen to the rest of my sentence? I went for Allie, not me.” Tobin replies.

“Oh yeah, my brain zoned out before you finished the sentence. How was the meeting though?” Kelley asks before loudly cursing at the game.

“Gosh it was terrible. Christen Press is the head of the photography club,” Tobin says.

“Wait, wait, wait! Christen Press? Tall, dark hair, with greenish grey eyes?” Ashlyn asks after abruptly shooting out of her seat.

“Yeah that’d be the one.” Tobin says nonchalantly.

“Oh hell yes, looks like I’m joining photography club too!” Kelley says before high-fiving Ashlyn.

“Dude, I’d totally join with you but Ali would kill me. She knows how much I hate photography,” Ashlyn says.

“Kelley you hate photography too.” Tobin says before snatching the controller out of Kelley’s hands, feeling annoyed all of a sudden.

“Yeah but I don’t hate beautiful women. Who knows... maybe Christen will let me photograph her naked. God that would be so hot.” Kelley says while fanning herself.

Tobin shoots up out of her seat, “Well guys would you look at the time! We all have work and class tomorrow so you guys should probably get going.”

“Are you just trying to kick us out?” Kelley says innocently.

“Well since you asked so politely, yes I’m kicking you out. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Tobin says while ushering the two out of her apartment.

The next week or so went by smoothly, Allie didn’t question Tobin and Christen hadn’t called on Tobin to be in any photography shoots. Kelley also decided not to join photography club because it would interfere with her work schedule.

“Yeah work, remember when you used to do that with us?” Kelley asked bitterly. Ever since Tobin had started streaming she only worked a for a few hours maybe three days a week. Her Twitch account was more than taking care of her expenses. But if she were to quit her job, that would raise a major red flag with her friends. She told them that she had saved up enough money in high school and that she wanted to focus on her studies. Another lie.

Everything was going smoothly until Allie called Tobin one day when she was in the middle of a stream.

“Sorry guys I have to get this!” Tobin says to her livestream viewers before moving into the other room and answering the call.

“Harry! I almost forgot about the talk we were supposed to have. I’ll be over in about five minutes,” Allie says before hanging up.

“Shit.” Tobin says to herself before hurrying back to her bedroom where she runs this whole operation.

“Alright guys I have to go but I’ll be back on tomorrow! ToBinAWin signing off!” She says before closing her stream.

God I’m so lame, she thinks to herself before surfing around the Twitch community. Tobin sees a few other of her main competitors also running streams at the same time as her, and a jolt of excitement runs down her spine. She hears a knock on the door and quickly closes all the tabs on her computer.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Tobin yells as the impatient banging on the door gets louder. She opens the door to find Allie standing there with a box of pizza.

“Oh wow you got us food too. Come in, come in.” Tobin says while moving out of the way for Allie.

“Who said I was sharing?” Allie says with a chuckle.

“Very funny. So why are you here again? I don’t really remember.” Tobin says feigning confusion while snatching some of the pizza Allie got. “Hold on...why does this have pineapple on it?”

“Because pineapple on pizza is delicious?” Allie says before snatching the pizza slice out of Tobin’s hand.

“Disgusting. Honestly we can’t be friends anymore. Pineapple does not belong on pizza,” Tobin says.

“Fine! More for me. But stop stalling, let’s go to the real reason why I’m here-” Allie pauses to take a bite of pizza before pointing a finger at Tobin, “-you like Christen.”

Tobin slowly rubs her temples, knowing a long night of defending herself lies ahead. “Allie that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“Ok but you at least think she’s cute.”

“Yeah, I think Kim Kardashian is cute too but I still don’t like her. You can have one without the other,” Tobin replies, sinking herself further into the couch.

“I think I know what your problem with her is…” Allie says slowly, as if not to scare Tobin away.

“And what would that problem be?” Tobin asks sarcastically.

“You’re….jealous.”

Tobin lets out a loud laugh that seems to bounce off the walls of her apartment. “Allie you have to be kidding me!”

Allie stands quickly, almost dropping her pizza onto the carpet. “No, no! That’s it! You’re jealous of her!”

“Okay! Explain to me how I’m jealous of Christen.”

Allie sits down slowly and studies Tobin for a few seconds before answering. “You’re jealous because Christen has what you never did. She’s rich and super successful...and extremely hot to top it all off. You feel that she’s had everything handed to her whereas you had to work for every little thing you have. And you hate her for that.”

The smug grin that Tobin harbored before Allie went off quickly faded away. Tobin had never had someone call her out like that before. It was one hundred percent the hard truth, even if Tobin herself wasn’t ready to hear it. It bothered her that things always went Christen’s way and not hers. And being angry at Christen was just so easy...easier than facing the truth. The truth is Tobin was undeniably jealous of Christen’s life. She yearned for that life where everything was easy. She needed help in school? Just hire someone to teach her. She needed help in sports? Just hire someone to train her better. She needed anything? Just ask dad for the credit card information.

But it had never been like that for Tobin. “I….,” Tobin begins while looking down at the ground.

“Listen Tobin I understand your jealousy. We grew up in the same city remember? We struggled together. So I know why you’re so bitter. But you have to let those feelings go. They’re only gonna bring you down.”

“I know Allie. It’s not that easy though. I can’t just make them go away. I’ve had this feeling towards rich people ever since I was a child. Ever since I could pick out the advantages they were getting over me,” Tobin says feeling a little defensive.

Allie sighs, “Can you promise me that you’ll at least try and be nice to Christen? I do have to work together with her, as you know. And you have to work with her too.”

Tobin leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I promise that I will try and be nice to her. But I can’t promise that this feeling of hatred will just go away.”

“Thank you Tobin. And you know, maybe if you actually talked to her about it you wouldn’t feel as mad. I doubt it’s been all sunshine and roses for her.” Allie says before dusting off her last piece of pizza.

“We’ll see,” Tobin offers.

Tobin falls into a repetitive cycle for the next couple of weeks. Go to class, work, stream, sleep. Over and over and over again. In all honesty, she doesn’t mind it. It’s allowed her time to practice and perfect her skills in Fortnite. That was the game she’d be competing with other people for in the e-tournament. Although Tobin really couldn’t describe the game to someone like Allie, she knew two things. One, everyone would probably think she’s lame if she came out and showed her friends just how good she was at it. Two, the game was paying her bills. Her light work schedule allowed her time to keep somewhat decent grades in her classes and keep putting up content on her Twitch account.

There was just one problem. That’s all she did. She wasn’t going out to parties every Friday like Allie was. Or dancing in bars with multiple different women like Kelley was. She was mainly held up in her apartment. Doing the same process over and over.

That was until one day she got a call from Christen Press.

Tobin was in the living room, eating and watching TV when she received the phone call. She looked down and saw that it was coming from an unknown caller. For a split second, she thought that maybe one her Twitch viewers somehow got a hold of her personal phone number. She decided to ignore that feeling, figuring it was probably just paranoia, and answered the call.

“Hello?” Tobin answers while turning down the TV.

“Hi! It’s Christen. I wondering if you and Allie would like to come to club’s next official meeting at Dave and Buster’s?” Christen asks, sounding really professional and straight to the point.

“Uh...remember I’m not really in the club so…,” Tobin says trying to say no politely. She did make that promise to Allie.

“Oh yeah I remember. I just...I don’t know, thought it be fun. Food, drinks, and games for everyone. Get to know the others better. It’s ok if you don’t wanna go.” Christen says sounding a little dejected.

Tobin quickly thought out what to say next. Allie was probably gonna drag her to this meeting anyway.

“No!” Tobin shouts before chuckling a little at her outburst, “No, I’ll go. Allie is gonna want me to go anyways.”

“Cool! I’ll text you the day and time. See you there!” Christen replies before ending the cool. Tobin lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and goes back to watching TV.

**Unknown Number**  
Hi it’s Christen again. Meet us there tomorrow at 7:30 PM. Please don’t be late.

**Tobin**  
Cool, see you then

Tobin then immediately calls Allie and tells her the plans. Allie of course is super excited whereas Tobin wishes she could just stay home. She also made sure to clear up her very busy evening of steaming Fortnite in order to make this night happen.

The next evening, they both arrive ten minutes late despite Tobin begging Allie not to stop for some iced coffee.

“Will they even let you bring that in?” Tobin asks while getting out of the car.

“Yeah. If not, I’ll just sneak it in.” Allie replies obviously.

Either the hostess didn’t see Allie’s iced coffee or she didn’t care enough to tell Allie to throw it away because here they were, walking up to the large area of the place sectioned off for photography club. Allie immediately sat down at a table full of people that Tobin didn’t know. Since she didn’t wanna be alone, Tobin followed and sat next Allie. At least Christen isn’t here, Tobin thought to herself before reaching over and getting a slice of pizza from the center table.

“See Allie,” Tobin says showcasing the slice to Allie, “-no pineapple. As it should be.”

“What? Pineapple on pizza is the best!” Another girl pipes up from the other side of the table.

“Tobin, this is Ali. Ali, this is Tobin, the girl who hates pineapple on pizza.” Allie says.

“It’s ok Tobin, Ashlyn is the same way. Always complaining when I get pineapple on the pizza.” Ali says with a kind smile.

“Wait, Ashlyn...as in the Ashlyn that works at the arts and crafts store a few blocks down?” Tobin asks.

“Yup. That would be the one.”

“Ahhh so you’re the Ali that Ashlyn always talks about. You are really pretty, just like she said.” Tobin says, feeling more comfortable with being at the meeting now. “I’m surprised Ashlyn didn’t join the club. She said it was because you wouldn’t like it but since you’re here I don’t think Ash could get into much trouble.”

“Oh no she would. I love her but she’s definitely a trouble maker. I don’t want her messing up my chances of doing well with this club.” Ali replies.

Tobin nods along, remembering all the pranks that Ashlyn likes to pull on Kelley and herself at work. Like that one time Ash taped Kelley’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich to the ceiling and left it there until someone noticed. That was two and a half weeks later. What a legend, Tobin quickly thought to herself. She then let her eyes scan the rest of the place, taking in the people and games she could see from her table. She recognized a few faces from her classes but that’s about it. Tobin was also thankful Kelley decided not to join the club because then she probably would’ve made a scene inside this place. Her and Tobin were always super competitive and started on Tobin’s first day of work.

As Tobin continued to look around her eyes fell onto the one and only Christen Press, who was surprisingly, already staring back at her. Christen was across the room and seemed to have no expression on her face. Just….studying Tobin from afar. For some reason, Tobin couldn’t bring herself to look away. Not even when she took a deep breath in through her nose and smelled the pizza right in front of her. It’s almost as if everything else faded in the room and it was only Tobin and Christen there...tunnel vision.

“My God, the sexual tension between you two is so thick, it’s practically suffocating me.” Allie quietly whispers to Tobin so nobody else at the table would hear.

“Wait, What?” Tobin asks after finally drawing her eyes away from Christen. “I didn’t hear what you said.”

“I said let’s go play some arcade games!” Allie says before pulling Tobin up out of her seat and urging Ali to come with them.

While the three of them were posted up at some arcade shooter game, minding their own business, some guy came up and tried to talk with them.

“So, you ladies like games?” He asked leaning against the machine. Tobin internally rolled her eyes and thought to herself, here we go.

“Uh not really. Tobin here does though.” Allie says, successfully putting the spotlight on her.

He turns to her with a cocky grin on his face, “Oh so you like to play games huh? What games do you play?”

“Oh you know, GTA, Fortnite, stuff like that.” Tobin says nonchalantly knowing damn well she plays more than that.

“Yeah Fortnite is a pretty good game. I’ve won three times on it. It wasn’t easy.” The annoying boy replies back.

“Oh I’m sure it wasn’t.” Tobin says, faking sympathy. She also knows damn well that she’s won over four hundred Fortnite matches with some of those being against some of the best players.

“Well I don’t wanna take up too much of your time. If you ladies need anything I’ll be over there.” He said pointing towards a booth on the other side.

We all waved him goodbye before Allie said, “He was ugly.” There’s something about that abrupt statement that had Tobin bent over with laughter. After a minute or so, her knees got weak and she fell to the floor. All three of them were in their own little world laughing. That is until Christen popped up out of nowhere.

“What’s so funny?” She asks sounding confused. Tobin doesn’t think she’s ever moved so fast in her life after she springs up from the floor. She quickly dusts her pants off and wipes the leftover tear stains from her face.

“Nothing, nothing…” Ali says casually.

“Hey any of guys wanna play me in air hockey? Honestly I can beat anyone in here at it.” Christen says with a cocky smile. The competitive side of Tobin lights up like a Christmas tree on fire.

“Well Tobin here is pretty good.” Allie says gesturing to her.

“Alright Tobin, wanna play?” Christen asks with that same fucking cocky smile.

You bet your ass I do, Tobin thinks to herself before saying, “Yeah sure.” The two go over to the air hockey table and Tobin uses her coins to get the machine started, even though Christen protested.

“So...when exactly will you guys need me to be available for the photo shoots and stuff.” Tobin says while placing the puck down and hitting it across to Christen’s side.

“Oh very soon. We’re doing themes this year and our first theme will be campus life. Basically going around and taking pictures of all different kinds of people on campus, interviewing them, and then posting it. Kinda like that one Instagram account…,” Christen trails off towards the end.

It’s quiet for a few minutes except for the little sounds both of them make when they get close to scoring.

After a while Tobin speaks up, “So who paid for all of this?”

Christen immediately reaches out and slams the puck down on the air hockey table, “That’s what it is!”

Everyone around the table focused their attention on the two quickly before going back to their conversations. “What are you talking about?” Tobin whispers after leaning across the table.

Christen lets out a bitter laugh, “This whole time I’ve been trying to figure out what your problem was! And now I know, it’s the fucking money. Is that all you care about?” Tobin clenches her jaw and represses the urge to defend herself.

“Christen...can we talk about this later? Somewhere less public?” Tobin pleads.

“Fine, whatever you want Tobin.” Christen says before putting the puck back down and leaving the table. Tobin sighs and looks up at the scoreboard that hangs above the table.

**_0-0_ **

It still feels like I lost, Tobin thinks to herself before abandoning the table and joining Allie and her other new found friend, Ali. Christen subsequently avoids Tobin for the rest of the night and Tobin doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or dejected. She would also be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little excited for the new project the club was working on. Going around campus and just hearing people’s different stories excited her. She just hoped Christen hadn’t counted her out of that just yet.

Christen had not.

A few days later, Christen sent a text to Tobin.

**Christen**  
Meet me at the library around 4 today. We need to start filming.

Tobin doesn’t reply until about five minutes later.

**Asshole**  
I can’t today, I have work. Maybe tomorrow?

**Christen**  
No you don’t, I talked with Ashlyn and she said she’ll cover for you. No excuses now Tobin.

**Asshole**  
How did you know I worked with Ashlyn?

**Christen**  
I’ll explain everything when I see you at 4. Don’t be late...please.

Tobin decides not reply and starts getting ready to go out. She figures since Christen didn’t ask her to bring anything, she’ll just bring her car keys and her wallet.

She decides to show up ten minutes early so Christen knows it’s Allie’s fault that they’ve been late every time before then. She sees Christen standing in front of the library, wearing a white t-shirt, black sunglasses, a pair of denim short shorts. Why must she look so good today, Tobin quickly asks herself. She looks down and realizes she’s wearing a black shirt. Ha, yin and yang.

“Hey.” Christen greets when Tobin gets within speaking distance.

“Hey. Ready to go?” Tobin asks.

“Yeah just here-“ Christen says before handing Tobin an expensive looking camera and tripod, “You're gonna film and I’ll do all the talking.” She then goes on to explain to Tobin everything she needs to know about the camera, from how to turn it on to how to focus it. “And don’t drop it!”

“I won’t, I won’t! Now where to?” Tobin asks strapping the tripod to her back so she wouldn’t have to carry it around campus.

“Hmmm, well I have three interviews set up for today. The first is with a girl who works in the campus food court. I think her name is Angela. So let’s head there first.” Tobin lets Christen walk ahead, partially because she doesn’t know who to look for and partially because Christen’s butt was looking great today. Once they enter the food court, a wave of anxiety floats over Tobin. The amount of people mixed in with this huge tripod on her back was enough to make her start sweating slightly.

Christen seems unbothered by it all, and continues to lead Tobin behind the counter of a busy fast food place. They reach the small break room in the back and see a girl with black hair sitting alone at the only table. She looks tired, but perks up once she sees Christen.

“Hi! You’re Angela right?” Christen asks once they enter the room.

“Yup, you guys ready to go?” Angela asks back after sitting up straight in her seat.

“Yes. Tobin set up the camera please.” Christen says before taking a seat next to Angela.

They two at the table chat quietly about the weather and classes while Tobin sets up the camera. “And...we are live.” She says before placing her face behind camera and watching them.

“So Angela, can you explain the death of your father and how that effected your childhood?” Christen asks right away. Tobin makes a screwed face behind the camera. Way to jump right into it Christen, she thinks to herself.

Angela didn’t seem bothered by Christen’s bluntness and dove right into her response, “Well...he died in a car crash when I was 10. At first, I didn’t really feel sadness. It was like I went into shock for years. It wasn’t until I was 14, when my high school had a father-daughter dance, that it really hit me. I would never get to spend another day, another hour, not even another minute with my father. From that point on, every father’s day hurt just a little more than the last. I felt so lost without him. I still don’t understand why it hit my like a truck years after instead of immediately following his death. At the end of the day, I believe he has made me a better person. I hold onto the little things he taught me, like how to ride a bike. Just so I’ll never forget him. I’ll be ok though.”

Tobin is struggling to keep a stable mind behind the camera. She had never been one to cry easily, but this story was really tugging at the heartstrings. She can’t imagine what life would be like without her father. And the fact that Christen just sat there with a blank face the entire time confused Tobin.

“Well thank you for sharing Angela. It was a pleasure meeting you.” Christen says before shaking Angela’s hand and gesturing for Tobin to follow her out.

“Yeah, thank you for sharing.” Tobin says with a shaky voice before quickly packing up the camera and putting the tripod on her back. Christen was already walking away, to the next interview Tobin supposed.

“Hey! Hey wait up!” Tobin said as she finally caught up to Christen. “I have so many questions…”

“Ok, ask away.” Christen says with a sigh and a blank face.

“First, how did you know where I work?” Tobin asks sitting down on a nearby bench. Christen watches Tobin sit but remains standing, “Are you gonna sit with me?”

“I don’t lounge with assholes.”

“How am I an asshole?” Tobin asks feeling genuinely confused.

“I don’t have to answer that,” Christen answers back.

“That’s...so childish.” Tobin replies, beginning to feel annoyed.

“You’re a such a hypocrite Tobin,” Christen says bitterly. “And to answer your first question, I talked with a lot of people at the meeting, including Ali. She told me about how she had met this really cool chick who works with her girlfriend. She was talking about you.”

“Is she wrong though?”

“About you being a really cool chick? Yes. About you working Ashlyn? No.” Christen replies quickly. “And Ashlyn was very nice to me when I called. Explained that it would be no problem this time but wanted me to tell you that she missed you at work.”

Tobin shakes her head slowly with a smile, deciding not to argue with her about this, “Second question, why did you just ask Angela about her father? Why didn’t you start with, oh I don’t know, her name?”

“People like Angela submitted their stories to my email. I quickly read through them, chose the ones I found most interesting, and then set up a meeting with the person. She knew that it was gonna be short. We just want her picture and her story. That’s it.” Christen replies, shifting her weight to her other foot, clearly wanting to sit down. But being too stubborn to do so.

“I guess that makes sense…,” Tobin trails off.

“Good. I don’t expect it to make sense now, but it will in the end. I have plans for the future. So, are you ready for our next interview? It’s hot and I’m ready to be a nice, air conditioned room right about now.” Christen replies before walking away.

“You didn’t even give me a chance to reply but ok!” Tobin shouts towards her back before quietly laughing with herself.

The pair interview the last two people with the same bluntness Christen displayed for the first. All the stories seemed to have the same general theme. Starting off with hardship, then hard work, and where they are now and how they learned to turn that hardship into life lessons. A part of Tobin wanted to hate Christen for it. For glorying hardship in her photo/video documentary thing. The other, more rational part of Tobin, knew she was being unfair towards Christen.

“Hey so I don’t like asking people for things, especially not you… but can you give me a ride home? You remember where I live right?” Christen asks.

“Yeah I’ll give you a ride. Come on.” Tobin says before leading Christen over to where she parked her car. The ride to Christen’s apartment was almost painfully silent. “You know...if it’s something as simple as a ride you can always ask me. I would hate myself if something bad happened to you because of me.”

“That’s...really sweet of you Tobin. Thank you.” Christen says quietly before looking out the window again. Tobin quietly nods before turning the car radio up to fill the silence.

Once they pull up to Christen’s apartment, she hesitates slightly before turning to Tobin and saying, “Do you wanna come in? I’ve been dying to show someone what my plan is for all these interviews and videos.”

“Yeah sure.” Tobin says before actually thinking the question through.

“Cool. Can you help me bring up the stuff? We’re gonna need it.” Christen asks and Tobin agrees. She follows Christen into a very fancy looking lobby, where she is greeted by the receptionist at the front desk.

“Wow those bags look heavy! Need help bringing them up to your room Mrs. Press?” He asks politely.

“No thanks Tony, my friend is helping me. Have a nice day though!” Christen quickly yells back to him before ushering Tobin into the elevator. Tobin’s heart raced with an exhilarating vigor she hadn’t really experienced before. Here she was, taking the final steps that lead up to the inside of Christen’s apartment. Her heart was beating so hard, but she prayed even harder that Christen couldn’t hear it. Tobin wanted to believe she had no idea why she was this worked up. She couldn’t lie...she knew exactly why she was so excited.

The inside of Christen’s apartment was everything Tobin expected it to be. Posh, updated, but a homey touch to it as well. It only made Tobin feel slightly out of place.

“Wait here, I’m gonna go make sure my room is ready for visitors.” Christen tells Tobin before walking off into another room. Tobin takes this time to scan Christen’s apartment even more. There’s little pictures of her and her dogs scattered around, but that’s about it. Tobin can only make out a photo or two that appear to have more people in them by Christen’s living room TV but that’s it. The daring half of her brain tells her to go get a closer look, but since this is probably Tobin’s one and only trip here, she didn’t want to leave Christen with a bad taste in her mouth.

Oh but I bet you’d want to leave her with a good taste huh, a little voice in Tobin’s head said. Tobin chuckled to herself and Christen finally emerged from her room.

“Ok all set. Come set the camera down on my desk and I’ll show you the project breakdown.” Christen instructs.

Tobin does as she’s asked and sits in the very convenient second office chair Christen has in her room. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who has two office chairs for their personal computer.”

Christen takes her eyes off the screen long enough to see Tobin slowly spinning around in a circle, “Yeah. I actually got it for this project. I like to collaborate with other people. It makes the final product so much better.”

“You’re right,” Tobin says before sitting up in her chair, “Show me what you got Press.”

“Well it’s not done yet,” She says in a shy voice. “I just...wanna know your input on what I have so far.”

“Hit me with it,” Tobin replies back.

Christen turns so she’s fully facing Tobin, “Alright, so in a few months the school will bring all the clubs together to have a final party. In this party, clubs are asked to showcase what they’ve done all year. Surprisingly, people have very high expectations of the photography club because the showcases have been really good these past couple of years. Honestly, I feel a little pressure to match their greatness. But I’m a big girl, I’m up for the challenge.”

Turning back towards her computer, she pulls up multiple different documents and pictures, “I wanna put together a short, maybe ten minute documentary about the different perspectives of those here in the school. Or not necessarily perspectives...I’m not really all too sure anymore. I’m just shooting video and then I’ll edit out what I don’t want later.”

“I...actually really like that idea Christen. I think it’s somewhat original and has a lot of room for you to kind of do your own thing. This school club party you mentioned, is the showcase a competition?” Tobin asks.

“Well officially, no, it’s not a competition. But it might as well be. Everyone wants to be the best right? I think it’s a worth a try.” Christen replies while mindlessly scrolling through the different documents she has.

“Wow Press, I didn’t know you were so competitive.” Tobin says with a laugh.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” Christen says before meeting Tobin’s eyes. They’re far enough away from each other that it isn’t too weird, but close enough that the energy around them instantly shifts.

“Is that right?” Tobin asks slowly, refusing to back down from the stare off.

“Yup.” Christen says, popping the “p”. Tobin’s eyes flicker down to Christen’s lips so fast Christen almost doesn't catch it. Almost.

“Like what?” Tobin challenges.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait around and see.” Christen says before finally breaking off the staredown.

Ha, I won, Tobin thinks to herself before standing up. “Well Christen I better get going. And if Allie asks about this, I just dropped you off. I didn’t come up into your apartment with you.”

Christen slowly turns the office chair towards Tobin, legs spread a little too far apart for comfort. Her already short shorts riding father up her leg, exposing her smooth tan skin. “Why would I lie to Allie for your sake? You’re still an asshole you know?”

Tobin clutched her chest, “After I offered to give you ride and gave you positive feedback to your showcase idea? I’m hurt.”

“Oh shut up. Go, I’ll cover for you. But keep your phone close! I’ll be needing your assistance again soon.” Christen says to Tobin as she watches her leave the room.

The only problem was, Tobin didn’t receive a call from Christen. It had been three weeks of nothing, radio silence. Tobin had replayed that last day they spent together in her mind over and over again. Where did she go wrong? Was it inappropriate to agree to come into her apartment? Was she genuinely an asshole? She knew the answer to the last question.

She casually asked Allie about it one time, in which Allie replied that Christen was fine and being her normal self. So Tobin couldn’t understand why Christen was ignoring her. Things fell back into that same cycle Tobin used to love. But it felt different now. It wasn’t enjoyable, it felt like hell to her. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, she would think bitterly to herself. Even the quality of her streams went down, although none of her fans would ever tell her that. Every night she prayed for someone or something to just change that cycle. She felt as if she was slowly losing her mind. But maybe she prayed hard enough because one night, in the middle of a Fortnite stream, she got a knock on her front door.

Tobin didn’t hear the first knock, due to her noise canceling gaming headset. But the second was a series of loud, pounding knocks that startled her.

“Hold on guys, I’ll be right back.” Tobin says to her Twitch audience before going to answer the door. She opens the door to find a very distraught looking Christen Press.

“Christen?! Wh-what are you doing here? How did you get my address?” Tobin stammers out, feeling absolutely blindsided.

“Why do you hate me?” Christen asks quietly. Tobin can see that Christen had been crying and looked on the verge of starting again.

“What? I don’t hate you.”

“Yes you do! Don’t lie to me! I hate liars!” Christen says before shoving past Tobin into her apartment.

“Come on in.” Tobin says sarcastically before closing the front door and joining Christen in the living room. “I’ll be right back,” Tobin says before quickly rushing into her room and closing down the active stream she had on. Wouldn’t want her viewers to hear anything going on in her personal life. But then again they no idea who she was in the first place.

Tobin drops all thoughts of her secret life when she enters back into the living room and sits down next to Christen on the couch. “Wanna watch some TV or something?”

Christen turns towards Tobin with an angry look on her face, “Does it look like I want to watch TV right now?”

“Jeez sorry. I don’t know know what you want right now.” Tobin says while putting her hands up in defense.

Christen turns and fully faces Tobin, “I want you to tell me why you hate me. That’s it. I just wanna know why.”

“I don’t hate you.” Tobin semi-lies. She really doesn’t hate Christen, more like a deep-seeded dislike of her.

Christen rolls her eyes, “Stop lying, I’m not dumb. You think I didn’t notice how you looked at me in high school? With disgust. I just want- no I need to know why.”

Tobin slowly leans her head back against the couch. How did I find myself here...she thinks to herself.

“Christen...I’m trying really hard to put that hate past me. And it’s been working. There’s no need to bring old feelings back up to the surface.”

“Tobin...please just tell me.” Christen says with her voice cracking at the end.

Tobin lifts her head and sees a few tears slip down Christen’s cheeks, “Well now I really don’t think I should tell you,” she says softly.

“I’m crying because I’m frustrated and I’m sad and I need this from you. Please…”

Tobin lets out a deep sigh before sitting up and sticking out her pinky finger, “Promise me that before I start explaining myself, you understand that I’m very close to putting these feelings behind me.”

“Pinky promises? What are we, ten?” Christen asks with a scratchy voice and a smile.

“Come on... just do it, it’ll both make us feel better,” Tobin encourages.

“Fine.” Christen says before wrapping her pinky finger around Tobin’s, “I promise.”

Tobin gives Christen a calm smile before releasing their hands, “Good.” She wipes her palms on her jeans, feeling a sudden wave of nervousness flow over her. “The reason why I hated you is because I was jealous of you. I realize that now, I didn’t realize it back then though. I was jealous that you were everything I wasn’t, that you had everything I didn’t. Success, money, popularity, you seemed to have it all. And in a way...I guess I turned that against myself? Like... I saw your success as a personal attack on me. Even though it wasn’t, we barely even talked to each other in high school. You were like this perfect human. I guess I’m trying to say that it was my fault and not yours.”

Christen stays quiet for minute, figuring out how exactly she wants to respond. “You’re wrong...you’re so wrong.”

“About what?” Tobin asks.

“You said you saw me as perfect...I was honestly a mess. All that success and popularity you mentioned? It put such great amounts of pressure on me to be the best all the time. I was so miserable. Most of the friends I had were toxic. But high school seems to put you in a box. Like I had to keep good relations with these people, because I had to keep coming back five days a week. High school was so miserable for me ” Christen quietly admits.

“What about the money thought? We all know you’re very well off.” Tobin says, feeling this is her chance to tell Christen exactly how she feels.

“Yes, I come from a wealthy family. A wealthy family that never has time for me but expects so much from me. My parents are and always have away working, never home. My sisters left as soon as they could and although they call me from time to time, I still feel so distant from them. So no, I’m not perfect. That’s why I got so pissed at you at Dave and Buster’s the other night. You have no idea the amount of internal suffering I went through. To have someone judge me without even attempting to learn the truth hurt me. You hurt me Tobin.” Christen says with a shaky voice.

Tobin had never been good at consoling others. She was flattered when people would turn to her for help or guidance, but at the end of the day, Tobin didn’t know what the hell she was doing. And in most cases, she just ended up making the other person feel so much worse. So she went with the first thing that popped in her head. “I’m sorry.”

Christen nodded but Tobin continued, “No seriously. I’m just...I’m so sorry. I never realized just how unfair I was being towards you. I would hate to have someone judge me like that too.”

Christen looked up into Tobin’s calming hazel eyes and everything seemed to slow down then. Those eyes seemed to ground her. And that’s exactly what she needed right now. “Can I get a hug?” She asked with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah of course, of course.” Tobin says before firmly taking Christen into her arms. It was a little awkward at first, due to their positions on the couch. But after a few seconds they both adjusted to a comfortable position. Christen lets out a big sigh before snuggling just a tiny bit closer into Tobin.

Tobin on the other hand doesn’t believe she’s ever felt this good hugging someone. “I’m sorry Chris,” Tobin says before realizing she let the nickname slip out.

“Chris...my family used to call me that when I was little. Before everything went downhill.” Christen mumbles close to Tobin’s ear.

Still embraced in a tight hug Tobin asks, “Oh is it like...extra special to you? I’ll never use it again, all you have to do is ask.”

Christen laughs in Tobin’s ear and a wave of chills run down Tobin’s spine, “No dork. You can call me that, I like it.”

“Also why did you ignore me for three weeks? Did I do something wrong?” Tobin asks, still latched into Christen.

“That day you did nothing wrong. I guess it was just a mixture of isolation, overthinking, and my birthday that led me to ignore you. You like to ask questions...and I didn’t feel like answering any.”

“It was your birthday and you didn’t tell anyone?” Tobin asks.

“Every year, each member of my family calls me on my birthday to wish me. I honestly look forward to it. But this year only my sisters called. I think my parents forgot. I know it’s stupid-“ Christen goes to say but Tobin instantly cuts her off.

“It’s not stupid. Those phone calls were important to you so don’t feel stupid for being sad about not receiving them. Knowing that, I’m not mad that you ghosted me for three weeks.” Tobin says with a grin.

Christen then reluctantly pulls back from the hug, “Well now that that’s all over, can we agree to be friends. Hating you requires a special kind of energy. An energy that I’m just not willing to use up anymore.”

“Oh absolutely. Allow me to re-introduce myself,” Tobin begins. “Hi, my name is Tobin Heath.” She says while sticking her hand out to Christen.

“I’m Christen. Christen Press. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She says with a laugh, but readily shakes Tobin hand.

“Well new friend, what do you say we go get some ice cream cones from McDonalds?” Tobin suggests.

“Gosh do you know how many calories are in those things?” Christen replies, making a face.

“Chris, it’s 11:42 at night. We all know nobody cares about the number of calories after 10 PM.”

“Ohh, you’re right, you’re right. Now we just have to hope that the ice cream machine isn’t broken.” Christen says before pulling Tobin up off the couch.

Tobin lets out a loud groan, “Ugh I forgot about that!”


	2. Come Get In My Space Whip

Tobin was rearranging the painting supplies in the back of the store when Kelley popped out from behind the corner.

“Have you seen Ashlyn?” she whispers. Kelley is crouched down like a tiger ready to pounce.

“Uhh no. I thought you and her were up front working the register,” Tobin says while turning to face Kelley.

Kelley quickly shushes her, “Shhhh! Keep your voice down!” She whispers quietly before creeping closer to where Tobin is standing. “Ashlyn and I have been playing Marco Polo for the past forty five minutes or so. I can’t find her! Also I’m getting hungry but my sandwich is missing.”

Tobin laughs, “Oh so that was you guys playing Marco Polo? I thought it was a couple of kids or something.”

“Come on now Tobin, you know there ain’t no customers in here,” Kelley says while looking out into another aisle.

“And about your sandwich, did you check the ceiling?” Tobin says with a teasing smile.

Kelley turns her head and narrows her eyes at Tobin, “Of course I checked the ceiling. Do I look like some kind of amateur to you?” She then quickly shakes her head and yells out, “Marco!”

A quiet “Polo” is heard coming from the other side of the store. “I gotta go,” Kelley says before dashing off to the source.

 _Guess I should go and work the register just in case we get some customers,_  Tobin thinks to herself. Once she gets there her phone starts to ring and she sees it’s a call from Christen.

“What up?” she answers.

“Oh I’m surprised you picked up. Since you’re at work and all,” Christen says with a sigh. Tobin’s eyes close briefly at the sound of Christen’s voice.

It had been a little over two months since they both decided to try and be friends. They talk everyday, but as far as Allie knows, they meet for coffee a few days a week. Tobin found herself thinking about Christen constantly. With each passing week, it was getting harder and harder to stay away.

“Yeah, it’s not too busy right now. Well actually it’s never busy. Anyways, what’s up?” Tobin says after realizing she was rambling.

“My parents called me a few minutes ago. They’re in San Francisco and they want me to come up and visit them next weekend.”

“Hmmm and how do you feel about that?” Tobin asks.

“Uhh...excited and sad at the same time. I’m excited to see them again but they have hard standards on me. They’re gonna ask so many questions and I know they’re gonna be disappointed. No matter what I tell them,” Christen says sounding dejected.

“Ah well. Try not to take what they say to heart. I know...easier said than done huh.”

Christen laughs, “That’s not all though. I called to see if you wanted to come with me?” Tobin can’t help but pick up on the uncertainty in Christen’s voice.

“Um...who’s gonna pay for all that?” Tobin asks quickly, making sure not to shoot down the idea.

“My parents. Money isn’t an issue,” Christen whispers the last part quietly, knowing that Tobin is probably still sensitive to statements like that.

“Christen I don’t like owing people stuff…,” Tobin trails off.

Christen laughs, “Don’t think of it as you owing me something, think of it as a gift. From my parents...even though they’ve never met you.”

“I’ll pay for my plane ticket at least. And we leave next week right?” Tobin asks.

“Hmmm it’s starting to sound like you’ve already agreed to come with me. And yes, we leave next Friday morning.”

“That’s because I have agreed to come,” Tobin says with a small smile. Just then she sees Ashlyn sprinting through one of the aisles. _They’re still going_? Tobin thinks to herself.

“Good cause I think I’m gonna end up losing my mind by the end of it if someone wasn’t there to keep me grounded, “Christen admits.

“Are you saying that I’m your rock Chris?” Tobin teases.

“Shut up or I’m gonna rock you the next time I see you,” Christen says with a laugh. _Ooo please do Christen_.

“Well I’m flattered Chris. Text me the details cause I should probably get back to work,” Tobin says glancing around the store and noticing customers were starting to come in.

“Alright alright, bye!” Christen says before hanging up the phone. Tobin would be lying if she said she wasn’t really excited. She had never even been on a plane before. It was always too expensive. Tobin almost had a heart attack when Christen informed her that a first class ticket to San Francisco was about $500.

“We will settle for nothing less,” Christen told her over the phone a few days later.

“Hmmm alright Mrs. Boujee,” Tobin says with a laugh.

“What did you just call me?” Christen yells into the phone.

“Oh you didn’t hear me? I’ll say it louder this time. Mrs. Boujee!” Tobin yells back.

“I’m gonna kick your ass out when I see you,” Christen mumbles into the phone.

“Do it! I dare you,” Tobin says with a laugh.

“Whatever Tobin. Meet me in the Victoria’s Secret store in the mall tomorrow at 2PM.”

“Wow that’s very specific and weird and-“ Tobin begins but Christen cuts her off.

“Just do it!” She says before hanging up. Tobin laughs to herself but makes sure to free up her schedule just for Christen tomorrow. She even told her Twitch fans that she wouldn’t be streaming at all tomorrow, just in case Christen wanted to go do something she didn’t plan for. _I need to chill,_  Tobin thinks to herself quickly.

She makes sure that she’s on time but she also makes sure to buy a drink or something before she walked into Victoria’s Secret. She didn’t want anybody thinking she was shopping there for herself.

All of a sudden someone pops out from behind a rack of bras and screams “Boo!”

Tobin jumps so hard she drops her drink onto floor, with soda and ice spilling everywhere. She looks up and sees Christen standing there with a shocked look on her face.

“Christen! You made me drop my drink!” Tobin groans out.

“I didn’t know you were carrying one! This is what you get for calling me boujee yesterday!” She said before laughing.

“What? I don’t even remember calling you that. Look at what you did!” Tobin says gesturing to all the drink spilled on the floor

Just then one of ladies who worked in the store approached them with a look of horror on her face, “Was that drink diet at least?”

“Uh no, I don’t drink diet,” Tobin says feeling embarrassed at the whole situation.

“Oh God it’s gonna be so sticky...get out! Just get out! You guys have done enough!” The worker says before ushering them outside.

“Well that’s $2.50 down the drain. I can’t believe you did that Chris,” Tobin says before laughing.

“Look at what you did Tobin! Now I’ll have to buy my bikini for San Francisco at the Gucci store instead of here,” Christen says in an annoyed tone.

“Oh look at you! Was I wrong in calling you boujee?” Tobin says before following after Christen towards the Gucci store.

They only made it a few steps before a mall security guard approached them on a Segway, “Ladies, it’s come to my understanding that there’s a problem here.”

“Uhh, no there’s no problem here sir,” Tobin says before trying to get away but Christen holds her back.

The mall cap leans in closer, “You know… marital problems are best discussed outside of my mall.”

Tobin makes a face, “Oh no we’re not-“

Christen cuts her off quickly and slides an arm around Tobin’s waist, “You’re right sir. We’re so sorry for causing a disturbance. It won’t happen again we promise.”

“Good. Oh and- love wins!” He says quickly before zooming away on his Segway.

Tobin turns her head towards Christen, “Oh so we’re married now.”

“In this situation, yes. We both must equally share the embarrassment.” Tobin rolls her eyes but allows Christen to keep her arm wrapped around her waist. Christen only takes her arm away once they enter the Gucci store. She assigns Tobin the duty of being “the judge” and telling her which outfits look good and which ones don’t.

“Here you sit there, I’ll be right out,” Christen says with an arm full of outfits.

Tobin groans and leans back in her seat getting comfortable. She feels so out of place in this store. That, and she’s pretty sure there’s a worker following her around to make sure she isn’t stealing. Or maybe that’s just her being paranoid.

“How does it look?” Christen asks stepping out from the dressing room. Tobin can’t help the shocked look that comes onto her face. Christen is wearing a black and red two piece bikini that compliments her tan skin perfectly. Her curves seemed to be heightened and she’s showing more cleavage than Tobin has ever seen before.

“Yeah you look...beautiful,” Tobin says without taking her eyes off of Christen’s body.

“Really? I was going more for sexy,” She says slowly turning her body around in a circle.

“That too,” Tobin admits before letting her eyes meet Christen’s.

Christen smirks but decides not address what Tobin said, “You’re manspreading again Tobin. You do that a lot.”

Tobin quickly decides to be bold before saying, “I don’t wanna leave much to imagination.”

Christen just hums in response before returning back to the dressing room. They repeat the process three more times although none of the new outfits were as revealing as the first one, much to Tobin’s disappointment.

Tobin also almost passes out when she sees the total cost of everything Christen was buying but decided not to comment. Christen knew Tobin didn’t approve of her luxurious spending habits. She just hoped that Tobin could learn to accept it.

The time for them to leave came quickly and Tobin internally celebrated when Christen casually dropped that she was bringing “that one bikini from the Gucci store” on their trip. Tobin also makes sure to let her Twitch fans know that she’ll be gone on vacation for a few days. She didn’t want to disappoint them, considering they were paying her a good amount of money to just play Fortnite.

Flying first class feels weird to Tobin, but nice at the same time. She paid for her flight, just like she said, despite Christen doing everything in her power to buy it for Tobin.

Christen discussed with Tobin that they would be together for the majority of the trip, so they would probably get around to a lot of tourism. She also said that her parents were hosting a party on Saturday night and Christen had to attend.

“I would ask you to come with me, but they would ask too many questions. And once they knew that you weren’t rich...they’d probably treat you differently. Trust me, it’s for the best,” Christen says to Tobin as they’re landing. Tobin is discreetly relieved. Those parties are the last place she wants to be.

“What’s first on our agenda?” Tobin asks just as Christen and her settle down in their hotel room.

“Uh food of course. I’m starving!” Christen yells before grabbing her purse and ushering her out of the door. They decide to walk down to where they’re gonna eat. It was a nice, cool evening and there was a lot of people still walking around.

“Excuse me miss, would you like to try our vegan carne asada tacos?” A vendor asks as Tobin and Christen pass by.

“Of course not,” Tobin quickly blurts out before realizing it was probably rude.

“Tobin!” Christen chastises before hooking her arm around Tobin’s pulling them away.

“I’m sorry Chris, but vegan carne asada tacos sound terrible.”

Christen scoffs, “Don’t knock it it till you try it.”

Tobin laughs, “You know some girl told me that when I told her I didn’t want to date her. I never spoke to her again.”

“Sheesh you sure are a ladies woman huh?” Christen says sarcastically before pulling them inside of a cute little pizzeria.

“Well I’m here...spending time with a beautiful lady right? I’d say I’m doing pretty good,” Tobin says, successfully testing the waters a bit.

“Hmm you have a point,” Christen says casually before telling the hostess “party of two.”

Tobin’s statement seems to shift the mood between them because once both of them are comfortably seated Christen asks, “So what’s your sexuality?”

Tobin whistles, “Wow. That sure is a conversation starter.”

“Tobin don’t play dumb with me, I’m being serious. Be serious with me,” Christen begs.

“Fine. I’m gay. But since you asked me I get to ask you. What’s your sexuality?” Tobin fires back.

“I’d like to think bisexual, you know... keeping my options open. But I’ve never met a man in person that I’m attracted to like that. It’s mainly just in TV shows and movies,” Christen says before sipping on her water.

“If I may, I’d say you’re just gay then,” Tobin says right as their waitress comes and takes their orders. “Chris did you order a salad because I’m here or because you genuinely wanted one?”

“I like salad. And I’m gonna steal some of that pizza you ordered.”

Tobin laughs, “That’s what you think. I’m pretty protective when it comes to food.

“Wait though, go back to what you said before we ordered. You said you think I’m just gay then. Why?” Christen asks.

“Well you say you’ve never met a man you’ve been attracted to. And plus you’re only attracted to men in movies and shows which I think a lot of lesbians can say. That’s all,” Tobin replies.

“I get your point but...I just don’t like having a label. I wanna be and love whatever or whoever I desire. Does that make sense?” Christen asks seeming slightly more shy than she was a few minutes ago.

“Yeah I understand. You’re not alone either, there’s plenty of people out there who feel the same as you,” Tobin states calmly.

“I know…,” Christen trails off. An awkward silence settles around them and since Tobin knows it’s rude to be on your phone while eating in a restaurant, she decides to scan the place. She can see couples laughing and dining together, as well as one couple who look to be upset with each other. The joint has pride flags and rainbows scattered around the place and Tobin instantly feels more comfortable.

“So what do you look for in a woman?” Christen asks, successfully drawing Tobin’s attention.

Tobin sits up straighter in her seat, “Umm, I’m pretty easy to please actually. Obviously I have to be attracted to the woman. I’d hope they’re funny but if not just remember to laugh at my jokes. I’d want them to be nice and care about me. Oh and they can’t be cheaters, obviously.”

“Have you ever been cheated on before?” Christen asks.

“I’m gonna let you in on a secret,” Tobin whispers. “I’ve never _actually_  been in a relationship before.”

“Neither have I…,” Christen whispers back.

Both of them seem to fall into a raging staring contest before Tobin decided to break it, “What about you? What do you look for in somebody?” Tobin made sure to keep the word gender neutral. She wanted to respect Christen’s decision to not have a label.

“I want them to be able to make me laugh. I want them to be able to take my stress away. I want them to be easy to love. I want them to show me off and not be afraid to love me either. Do you think my standards are too high?” Christen asks.

“Hmmm no, I’d say they’re reasonable,” Tobin replies back just as their food is being brought out to them.

Christen thanks the waitress before saying, “I’m serious about them not being afraid to love me. I don’t want them to hide it from me. If you like me, let me know, don’t hide it from me,” Christen says looking right into Tobin’s eyes. She might as well have been looking right into Tobin’s soul. She felt like a deer in headlights. Part of Tobin felt that Christen was specifically talking to her with that last statement. But the other part of Tobin felt that Christen was just expressing what she wanted.

“Excuse me miss, how much cheese would you like in your salad?” The waitress asks, breaking off their second undeclared staring contest of the night.

“Oh none, thank you,” Christen says and the waitress walks away.

“You on a diet or something?” Tobin asks.

“If you must know, yes I am on a diet,” Christen says before taking a bite of her salad.

“You have a nice body. Have you been on a diet your whole life?” Tobin says, trying to test the waters a bit.

Christen takes a sip of her water but keeps eye contact with Tobin the entire time, “Thank you, but no, not my whole life. Usually I’m not on a strict diet but the past month or so I’ve started cutting back. Felt like I was gaining too much weight.”

“Hmmm...well you look beautiful,” Tobin says quietly, letting her comment hang in the air as they both eat quietly. Tobin is grateful for the background music playing in the pizzeria. It’s soft and nice and helps calms Tobin’s nerves a bit. Christen attempts to steal Tobin’s pizza and Tobin lets her. Imagine _just_ eating a salad at a restaurant. _Couldn’t be me,_  Tobin thought to herself.

”How’s your project for your photography club going? You don’t ask me to help anymore,” Tobin says.

”I realized it’s just pointing a camera and pressing record. I didn’t want waste any more of your time,” Christen says casually.

Tobin scoffs, “It’s not a waste of time if I’m helping you out. Next time don’t hesitate to call me up.” 

Christen nods, “I’ll keep that in mind. But as far as the project itself...I don’t know yet. I have a good amount of footage I need to edit but I’ve just been feeling too lazy to edit it together. And before you offer, no you can’t come and help me. We’d get nothing done.” 

“You’re probably right,” Tobin says with a discreet smirk. 

After they finish their dinner, Christen begs Tobin for them to go back to the hotel, “I’m sleepy! Pleaseee Tobin.”

“Fine. Grandma Chris,” Tobin teases. Christen lightly slaps her arm but follows her back to the hotel room. They both wish each other good night but Tobin has a hard time falling asleep that night. She looks over and sees Christen on the other bed and her heart aches. In that moment, she wishes she wasn’t such a coward. Tobin has never been good at reading people but she feels like she has a pretty good read on Christen. She believes she needs to say something quick before someone snatches Christen’s sexy ass up. But the thought of exposing herself to someone was so fucking scary to Tobin.

The next morning, her and Christen walked the Golden Gate Bridge together, talking about random little things before Christen got serious.

_**trigger warning**_

“How many people do you think have jumped from the bridge?” She asks, looking down into the water. Tobin carefully wraps her arm around Christen’s waist and she laughs in response, “Don’t worry! I’m not thinking about jumping, I’m just curious.”

Tobin keeps her arm around Christen, “Uh I don’t know really. Probably a decent amount of people though. It sure is a long way down. I’d be way too scared to even do it.”

“Have you ever thought it?” Christen asks.

“Ever thought about what? Committing suicide?” Tobin replies before taking her arm away and fully facing Christen.

“Yeah,” Christen says back.

“No. I mean...yes but never seriously. More so like how would my friends and family react. What would happen after kind of stuff. But as far as _actually_  considering it, no I haven’t.”

“I have before. Only once. It was back when I was in high school. With my classes and my parents...I just felt so much pressure to be perfect. It wasn’t that I necessarily wanted to die. I just wanted it all to go away. I just wanted to feel at peace. One day was worse than the others though. It felt like everything was falling apart. First I failed a test in school that tanked my overall class grade. Then my family dog died. Then my parents reminded me about how much I disappoint them. If I had a gun or something that day, I would’ve done it. The only thing that stopped me was not having anything to do it quick. Today, I’m glad my dad wasn’t a gun freak or anything. I’m happy to be alive now. I try not to base my worth on anything my parents say,” Christen concludes with a long sigh.

“I feel so bad... I was so mean to you in high school. But you seemed so happy, I had no idea.”

“It’s ok Tobin. There was nothing you could’ve said or done that would fix what I was going through. It was an internal struggle. An internal struggle that I had to fight and conquer alone.”

_**end of tw**_

Christen spends the rest of the day “perfecting” herself for her parents. Tobin comments on Christen’s appearance here and there but leaves Christen alone for the most part. Once Christen leaves for the party, Tobin orders room service, showers, and gets settled into bed. She wishes Christen was here to relax and watch TV with her but she’s still happy for Christen. She hopes her and her parents can find peace one day.

Christen actually ends up calling Tobin at around midnight, not like Tobin was waiting for Christen to come back to the hotel room or anything, “Tobin are you still awake?”

“Yeah what’s up?”

“Hey. I just wanted to talk to someone sane for a minutes,” Christen says with a laugh.

“Then you called the wrong the person Chris.”

“Shut up. Anyways, distract me yeah?” Christen asks.

“Wait what happened? How did you find time to call me?” Tobin asks back.

“Well you see everything was going fine. My parents and I were talking and getting along. But then they started asking me my grades and my personal life. So I told them my grades were fine and that I started dating a new guy.”

“Ahh lying now huh? What they did they say when you told them?” Tobin asks before settling back into the bed more.

“They were delighted. They asked what his name was and I told them his name is Tobin.”

Tobin busted out into a fit of laughter, “You did not! Oh my god… and then what happened?”

“Well they asked why he wasn’t here with me now. I told them that he was away on a business trip in New York. They asked me a few more questions about my ‘boyfriend’ but I made sure to change the subject. Oh and they said Tobin is a weird name.”

Tobin scoffed, “It is not…”

“For a boy? Yeah it’s kinda weird. For a girl? Even more so.”

“Alright bully, you won’t be saying all that when your parents find out that the real Tobin isn’t a boy, isn’t rich, and isn’t dating you,” Tobin says, making sure to make the last statement more teasing than the rest.

“They’ll never find out. They’re away so much and I’ve blocked them on all social media and made my accounts private. And if they ask later on down the line I’ll just lie and say we broke up.”

“Man you’ve got this whole lie planned out huh? Well, I’m glad you could use my name to help you out, “ Tobin says casually.

“It was no problem really. Well I should get going. I’ll be back really early in the morning so don’t stay up waiting for me bum! I know that’s what you were doing. I’ll see you in the morning. Love you...can I say that or is it weird?”

“No, I don’t have a problem with it. Love you too!” Tobin says and they both hang up a few seconds later. She decides to listen to Christen and go to sleep soon after the call. She also can’t help but imagine being actually dating Christen. Not even just the sexual side of it, but the romantic side too. Going out on dates and being able to say and do cute thing with her.

Tobin knew she had to decide what she wanted to do and quick. It wasn’t fair to either her or Christen to keep it dragging along like this. And if she got hurt in the end...at least she can say she tried. Now it was just picking the right time to drop it all on Christen. _Probably not while we’re in San Fran, soon after we get back home for sure though,_  Tobin thought to herself. She didn’t want Christen rejecting her there, because then her whole trip to San Francisco would be ruined.

Allie called about an half an hour later and expressed how “disappointed” she was that Tobin didn’t invite her on the trip.

“Well Christen didn’t invite you. This is her trip, I’m not just gonna invite you for her,” Tobin replies.

“I’m sure Christen wouldn’t have minded!”

“Listen bum, I mind it though,” Tobin says with a laugh. “You know how I feel about her right now. It’s nice to just be alone with her. Away from everything...including you.”

Allie gasps, “Tobin I can’t believe you! You already spend plenty of time with Christen without me.”

“Well I want more, you know I’m selfish!”

“What happened to bros before hoes Tobin? Whatever _fake,_  I have real friends like Kelley and Ashlyn who want me to spend time with them.” Allie says. Tobin knows that Allie is kidding and not actually hurt at all. Allie is gonna question her to no end when she gets back though.

“Oh that reminds me, where are those two? Last I saw them they were in a heated Marco Polo battle. I wanna know who won.”

“Oh I’ll ask them right now when I see them. We’re all posted up at your apartment eating your food and playing your console in the living room,” Allie says casually.

“Wait why are you guys in my apartment? You guys have your own!” Tobin says with a laugh.

“Well we’re just making sure your food isn’t going bad. We’re being good friends you know, looking out for you.”

“Lies! You’re just saying that so you can steal all my food! I’m coming home tomorrow, the food won’t go bad by then.”

“Oh jeez would you look at the time Tobin? It’s time to steal all your food with the help from Kelley and Ashlyn. I’ll have to talk to you later. Bye!”

A few minutes later Allie sent Tobin a text.

 **Allie**  
_By the way, Ashlyn ended up winning Marco Polo. And Kelley told me to tell you that she found the sandwich taped underneath a chair? What does that even mean?_

 **Tobin**  
_Don’t worry about it Allie. I’ll explain later._

A few minutes pass before Allie texts again.

 **Allie**  
_Tobin what the hell! You literally have nothing in your fridge! How are we supposed to eat everything when all you have are Hot Pockets and bottles of water? I’m disappointed in you. Smh_

Tobin makes sure to send a selfie of herself in a nice big bed and an expensive robe.

 **Tobin**  
_That’s cuz I’m too busy saving up my money for things like this. You wish you were here Allie. Don’t deny it_

Tobin decided she should take this opportunity to go to sleep. She hoped and prayed Christen’s parents would pick up the bill on this room service because she knew it had to be expensive.

The next day Christen and Tobin return to Southern California much to Tobin’s pleasure. She didn’t like the vibe she got from Northern California. People kept offering her vegan substitutes of her favorite foods and she almost lost her mind.

“I never got to see you wear your new Gucci bikini,” Tobin says to Christen as they walk through LAX.

“Don’t worry, I’ll save it just for you,” Christen says looking straight ahead. Tobin has to stop herself from doing a celebratory dance right there in the middle of the airport.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm no worries...

**Author's Note:**

> “This is a Preaths only event! Go home!“


End file.
